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My name is Leah (not my real name). I am 46 years old and a survivor of Child Sexual Abuse. I was abused at the age of 8 until I was 10.<\/p>\n
My family never knew too much about the abuse due to the fact that I was ashamed of it and being so young didn\u2019t know that it was abuse. I just knew that something wasn\u2019t right. I put it behind me and went through my teenage years and 20s I was using drugs and alcohol and being promiscuous a way now I know that I used to deal with the abuse. Never fully understanding why I did this. Just thought it was a way of life.<\/p>\n
When I had my first child at the age of there was a trigger that bought it all back to me. I had a little counselling and realised that the depression and my behaviour was due to the fact I had been sexually abused. But being a new mother I put it behind me again as I found it too hard to deal with. I went on to have another child at the age of 35 but my marriage broke down and I became a single mum.<\/p>\n
After that I started drinking and taking drugs and became involved in numerous abusive relationships. That led me to become involved with a church group with this came the next trigger. A paedophile was attended the church social barbeque that I attended with my children. When I discovered who he was I went on a downward spiral. I decided to enter into counselling again and attended for my allocated sessions which helped a bit. I was unable to keep going as I was unable to afford to pay myself so I stopped. I then became involved in a very volatile relationship and fell pregnant at the age of 44 to my partner. Unfortunately I lost the baby at 3 months and then the next week I lost my aunt who I was very close to. This was my last trigger and probably the worst. I had a nervous breakdown. I was suffering from panic attacks, anxiety and severe depression. This led me to go and see my doctor and be put on antidepressants and a Mental Health Plan.<\/p>\n
I have been seeing my Counsellor for the last 18 months now. This is a very long process as I have been diagnosed with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder that started when I was a child. This hasn\u2019t always been on a regular basis as I am not able to afford it myself and can only go to the allocated visits. I still have bouts of depression and when I am not in counselling I return to binge drinking as a way to cope. I am still unable to work due to the fear of a relapse and not being able to care for my children.<\/p>\n
Without this counsellor\u2019s help and support I really don\u2019t think I would be here. It is very hard to pull yourself out of depression unless you have full support of a trained professional.<\/p>\n
My visits are now coming to an end and I have to spread them out to make them last. I try not to think about being unable to have her support whilst I am waiting to see if I am eligible for anymore visits.<\/p>\n
It is a long road for me and I know that it could take a lifetime to have a fulfilling life. But I will get there because I am a survivor.<\/p>\n
Note:<\/strong> Reading personal stories can be confronting for some people. If you need to chat with someone urgently for support, please contact Lifeline<\/a> for their free crisis support services. If you\u2019re under 18 you can also contact Kids Help Line<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" My name is Leah (not my real name). I am 46 years old and a survivor of Child Sexual Abuse. I was abused at the age of 8 until I was 10. My family never knew too much about the abuse due to the fact that I was ashamed of it and being so young […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[42],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-401","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-stories"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=401"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":519,"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/401\/revisions\/519"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=401"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=401"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/drben.com.au\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=401"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}